- Good luck.
Hi. Uh, I have an appointment
with Emily Charlton?
- Andrea Sachs?
- Yes.
Great. Human Resources certainly
has an odd sense of humor.
Follow me.
Okay, so I was Miranda's
second assistant...
but her first assistant recently got promoted,
and so now I'm the first.
- Oh, and you're replacing yourself.
- Well, I am trying.
Miranda sacked the last two girls
after only a few weeks.
We need to find someone who can survive here.
Do you understand?
Yeah. Of course. Who's Miranda?
Oh, my God. I will pretend
you did not just ask me that.
She's the editor in chief of Runway,
not to mention a legend.
You work a year for her, and you can
get a job at any magazine you want.
A million girls would kill for this job.
It sounds like a great opportunity.
I'd love to be considered.
[ Giggling ]
Andrea,
Runway is a fashion magazine...
so an interest in fashion is crucial.
What makes you think
I'm not interested in fashion?
- [ Cell Phone Ringing ]
- Oh, my God.
No! No! No!
What's wrong?
She's on her way. Tell everyone!
She's not supposed to be here
until 9:00.
Her driver just text messaged,
and her facialist ruptured a disk.
- God, these people!
- [ Whistles, Whispers ] Who's that?
That I can't even talk about.
All right, everyone! Gird your loins!
- [ Excited Chattering ]
- Did somebody eat an onion bagel?
[ Exhales, Sniffs ]
[ Bell Dings ]
Sorry, Miranda.
[ Bell Dings ]
Move it! Ooh!
I don't understand why it's so difficult
to confirm an appointment.
I know. I'm so sorry, Miranda.
I actually did confirm last night.
Details of your incompetence
do not interest me.
Tell Simone I'm not going to approve that girl
that she sent me for the Brazilian layout.
I asked for clean, athletic, smiling.
She sent me dirty, tired and paunchy.
And R.S.V.P. Yes
to the Michael Kors party.
I want the driver to drop me off at 9:30
and pick me up at 9:45 sharp.
- [ Whispers ] 9:45 sharp.
- Call Natalie at Glorious Foods,
tell her no for the 40th time.
No, I don't want dacquoise. I want tortes
filled with warm rhubarb compote.
Then call my ex-husband and remind him the
parent-teacher conference is at Dalton tonight.
Then call my husband, ask him to meet me
for dinner at that place I went to with Massimo.
Tell Richard I saw the pictures that he sent
for that feature on the female paratroopers...
and they're all so deeply unattractive.
Is it impossible to find a lovely,
slender female paratrooper?
- No.
- Am I reaching for the stars here? Not really.
Also, I need to see all the things that Nigel
has pulled for Gwyneth's second cover try
I wonder if she's lost any
of that weight yet Who's that?
Nobody. Um, uh-
Human Resources sent her up about the new
assistant job, and I was preinterviewing her.
But she's hopeless
and totally wrong for it.
Clearly I'm going to have to do that myself
because the last two you sent me...
were completely inadequate
So send her in. That's all.
Right.
- She wants to see you.
- Oh! She does?
Move!
- This is foul. Don't let her see it. Go!
- That's-
[ Sighs ]
Who are you?
Uh, my name is Andy Sachs.
I recently graduated
from Northwestern University.
And what are you doing here?
[ Clears Throat ]
Well, I think I could do a good job
as your assistant.
And, um-
Yeah, I came to New York to be a journalist
and sent letters out everywhere...
and then finally got a call
from Elias-Clarke...
and met with Sherry
up at Human Resources
Basically, it's this or Auto Universe
- So you don't read Runway?
- Uh, no.
And before today,
you had never heard of me
No.
And you have no style
or sense of fashion.
Well, um, I think that depends
on what you're-
No, no. That wasn't a question.
Um, I was editor in chief
of the Daily Northwestern
I also, um, won a national competition
for college journalists...
with my series on thejanitors'union,
which exposed the exploitation-
That's all
[ Scoffs ]
Yeah. You know, okay.
You're right. I don't fit in here.
I am not skinny or glamorous...
and I don't know that much
about fashion
But I'm smart
I learn fast
and I will work very hard.
I got the exclusive
on the Cavalli for Gwyneth...
but the problem is, with that huge
feathered headdress that she's wearing...
she looks like she's working
the main stage at the Golden Nugget.
Thank you for your time.
Who is that sad little person?
Are we doing a before-and-after piece
I don't know about?
Brown and Law, please?
Thank you.
- Andrea.
- Hmm?
Wait You got a job
at a fashion magazine?
- Mm-hmm.
- What was it, a phone interview?
- [ Woman ] Wow
- Ow! Don't be a jerk.
Miranda Priestly is famous
for being unpredictable.
Okay, Doug How is it
that you know who she is and I didn't?
- I'm actually a girl.
- Oh!
- That would explain so much.
- [ Doug ] Look, seriously
Miranda Priestly is a huge deal.
I bet a million girls would kill for that job.
Yeah, great.
The thing is I'm not one of them.
[ Woman ]
Look, you gotta start somewhere, right?
I mean,
look at this dump Nate works in.
I mean, come on.
Paper napkins? Hello.
Yeah. And Lily, she works at that gallery
doing, uh, you know-
Oh, I'm sorry. What exactly is it
that you do anyway?
Well, lucky for me,
I already have my dream job.
[ With Lily ]
You're a corporate research analyst!
- Oh, you're right. My job sucks.
- No!
- It sucks. I don't- It's boring.
- It's all right Breathe
- I'm trying.
- Here Take a drink
- I will have a drink I will have a drink
- Ah, yes.
- I'd like to propose a toast.
To jobs that pay the rent.
- To jobs that pay the rent.
[ Lily ]
Jobs that pay the rent.
Oh, baby. You should see the way
these girls at Runway dress.
I don't have a thing to wear to work.
Come on. You're gonna be
answering phones and getting coffee.
You need a ball gown for that?
I think I might.
Well, I happen to think
you look great always.
Aww! I think you're full of it.
[ Giggling ]
- Hey. Come on. Let's go home.
- Yeah.
I can think of something we can do
that doesn't require any clothing.
- Really?
- Mmm.
- [ Phone Ringing ]
- [ Woman Singing ]
Hello?
Andrea, Miranda decided to kill
the autumn jacket story for September...
and she is pulling up
the Sedona shoot from October.
You need to come into the office right this
second and pick up her coffee order on the way.
- Now?
- Now, get a pen and write this down
- Now?
- Now, get a pen and write this down
I want one no-foam skimmed latte
with an extra shot...
and three drip coffees
with room for milk.
- Searing hot. And I mean hot.
- [ Line Clicks ]
- [ Continues ]
- [ Cell Phone Ringing ]
Hello?
- [ Emily ] Where are you?
- Oh, I'm almost there. Yeah.
Shoot! Oh!
[ Ends ]
Is there some reason
that my coffee isn't here?
Has she died or something?
No. [ Whispers ] God.
Oh. Bloody time.
- I hope you know that this
is a very difficult job-
- Mm-hmm.
For which you are totally wrong.
And if you mess up,
my head is on the chopping block.
Now, hang that up.
Don't just fling it anywhere.
Okay First of all,
you and I answer the phones
The phone must be answered
every single time it rings.
Calls roll to voice mail,
and she gets very upset.
If I'm not here-Andrea, Andrea-
you are chained to that desk.
- Well, what if I need to-
- What? No.
One time an assistant left the desk because
she sliced her hand open with a letter opener...
and Miranda missed Lagerfeld
just before he boarded
a 17-hour flight to Australia.
She now works at TVGuide
- Man the desk at all times. Got it.
- [ Phone Rings ]
- Uh-
- Miranda Priestly's office.
No, she's not available.
- Who is it?
- [ Mouthing Words ]
Yes, I will tell her
you called... yet again.
- [ Bell Chimes ]
- Right Remember, you and I
have totally differentjobs
I mean, you get coffee-
[ Scoffs ] and you run errands.
Yet I am in charge of her schedule...
her appointments and her expenses
And, um, most importantly, um...
I get to go with her to Paris
for Fashion Week in the fall.
I get to wear couture.
I go to all the shows and all the parties.
I meet all of the designers.
It's divine.
Okay. Now, stay here. I'm going to
the art department to give them the Book.
- The-
- This is the Book.
Now, it is a mock-up of everything...
in the current issue.
And we deliver it to Miranda's apartment
every night, and she retu-
Don't touch it. She returns it to us
in the morning with her notes.
Now, the second assistant
is supposed to do this...
but Miranda is very private
and she does not like strangers in her house.
So until she decides
that you are not a total psycho...
I get the lovely task
of waiting around for the Book.
- [ Phone Rings ]
- Oh, Emily? What do I do-
- Deal with it
- [ Rings ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Rings ]
Hello. Mrs. Priestly's office.
Hmm. That's what I meant.
Miranda Priestly's office.
[ Groans ]
Um, you know, she is in a meeting.
Can I please take a message?
Uh-huh.
Okay. Can you please spell Gabbana?
- [ Line Clicks, Dial Tone Hums ]
- Hello?
I guess not.
I guessed an eight and a half.
Um, uh, that's very nice of you...
but I don't think I need these
Miranda hired me.
She knows what I look like.
- Do you?
- [ Chuckles ]
Emily.
Emily?
She means you.
- Wejust cut on the bias
- [ Miranda ] That's not what I asked you
I couldn't have been clearer.
There you are, Emily.
- How many times do I have to scream your name?
- Actually, it's Andy.
My name is Andy.
Andrea, but, uh, everybody calls me Andy.
[ Chuckles ]
I need 10 or 15 skirts from Calvin Klein.
- What kind of skirts do you-
- Please bore someone else with your questions.
And make sure we have Pier 59
at 8::00 am tomorrow
Remind Jocelyn I need to see a few of those
satchels that Marc is doing in the pony.
And then tell Simone I'll takeJackie
if Maggie isn't available
- Did Demarchelier confirm?
- D-Did D-Demarchel-
Demarchelier.
Did he- Get him on the phone.
Uh, o- okay.
- And, Emily?
- Yes?
That's all.
It's just the cavalier disregard
for clear directions-
[ Chattering Continues ]
Do you have Demarchelier?
Uh, Demarchelier.
- [ Groans ] Leave it.
- Do you have-
I have Miranda Priestly calling.
I have Patrick!
Uh, no, she called me in there
and-and then she asked me about Pier 59.
And there was something
about Simone, Frankie, someone else.
And, um, she needs skirts
from Calvin Klein
And, uh, there was something
about a pony
- Did she say which skirts?
- No No
- Did she say what kind? Color, shape, fabric?
- I tried to ask her.
You may never ask Miranda anything.
Right. I will deal with all of this,
and you will go to Calvin Klein.
Eh- Me?
Oh, I'm sorry. Do you have
some prior commitment?
Some hideous skirt convention
you have to go to?
Uh-
- [ Cell Phone Rings ]
- Miranda?
- Are you there?
- I'm about to walk in. I'll call you as soon as-
[ Line Clicks ]
- [ Cell Phone Rings ]
- [ Horn Honks ]
- Hello? Hi.
- [ Emily ] While you're out...
Miranda needs you to go to Hermes
to pick up 25 scarves we ordered for her.
- Okay.
- Cassidy forgot her homework at Dalton.
Pick that up.
Miranda went out to meet with Meisel, and
she will want more Starbucks when she gets back.
- Hot Starbucks.
- Can you just repeat that first-
- [ Dial Tone Hums ]
- Hello?
Oh, my God.
What took you so long?
I have to pee!
What?
You haven't peed since I left?
No, I haven't. I've been manning
the desk, haven't I? I'm bursting.
Oh, hi.
- [ Snaps Fingers ]
- You do coat. Do the coat!
Okay.
Now, be prepared.
The run-through is at 12:30.
People are panicking, so the phone
is going to be ringing off the hook
The ru-The run-through. Right.
Yes. Editors bring in options for the shoot,
and Miranda chooses.
She chooses every single thing
in every single issue.
Run-throughs are a huge deal.
I don't know why you don't know that, Andrea.
- [ Woman ] Okay Are you ready?
- [ Emily ] Oh, hi, hi.
Right. Well, after the loo,
Serena and I are going to lunch.
- This is her- the new me
- Hi.
- Told you.
- I thought you were kidding.
No, quite serious, yeah
I get 20 minutes for lunch, and you get 15
- When I come back, you can go.
- Okay.
[ Serena ]
What exactly is she wearing?
[ Giggling ]
Her grandmother's skirt.
[ Man Singing In French ]
Hmm. Corn chowder.
That's an interesting choice
You do know that cellulite is one
of the main ingredients in corn chowder.
[ Man Singing In French Continues ]
So none of the girls here eat anything?
Not since two became the new four
and zero became the new two.
- Well, I'm a six.
- Which is the new 14.
Oh. Shoot.
Oh, never mind. I'm sure you have plenty
more polyblend where that came from.
- [ Cash Register Clicking ]
- Okay. You think my clothes are hideous.
I get it.
But, you know, I'm not going
to be in fashion forever...
so I don't see the point of changing everything
about myself just because I have this job.
Yes, that's true.
That's really what this multibillion-dollar
industry is all about anyway, isn't it?
- Inner beauty.
- [ Cell Phone Rings ]
Hello.
Right. Come on.
- Miranda's pushed the run-through
up a half an hour.
- Mmm!
- She's always 15 minutes early.
- Which means?
- You're already late. Come.
- Shoot!
Excuse me.
- [ Bell Dings ]
- Mr. Ravitz.
Nigel.
- Issue going well?
- Oh, yes. Our best September ever.
Great. Heard Miranda killed autumn jackets
and pulled up the Sedona shoot.
What's that costing me?
About 300,000.
Must have been some lousy jackets.
- Irv Ravitz.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
This is Andy Sachs,
Miranda's new assistant.
Congratulations, young lady.
A million girls would kill for that job.
Bye-bye.
- Hmm?
- Chairman of Elias-Clarke, Irv Ravitz.
You know what they say?
Tiny man, huge ego.
No. And I've seen all this before.
Theyskens is trying to reinvent
the drop waist, so actually it's-
- Where are all the other dresses?
- We have some right here
- Stand, watch and listen.
- And I think it can be very interesting-
No. No, I just-
It's just baffling to me.
Why is it so impossible
to put together a decent run-through?
You people have had hours and hours
to prepare It's just so confusing to me
Where are the advertisers?
- We have some pieces from Banana Republic.
- We need more, don't we?
- Oh. This is-This might be-
What do you think of-
- Yeah.
Well, you know me
Give me a full ballerina skirt
and a hint of saloon and I'm on board.
- But do you think it's too much like-
- Like the Lacroix from July?
I thought that, but no, not with
the right accessories. It should work.
Where are the belts for this dre-
Why is no one ready?
Here. It's a tough call.
- They're so different.
- [ Miranda ] Hmm
[ Snorts, Chuckles ]
Something funny?
No. No, no. Nothing's-
You know, it's just that both those belts
look exactly the same to me.
You know, I'm still learning
about this stuff and, uh-
"This... stuff'?
Oh Okay I see
You think this has nothing
to do with you.
You go to your closet
and you select- I don't know-
that lumpy blue sweater, for instance...
because you're trying to tell the world
that you take yourself too seriously
to care about what
you put on your back.
But what you don't know
is that that sweater is not just blue.
It's not turquoise. It's not lapis.
It's actually cerulean.
And you're also blithely unaware
of the fact...
that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta
did a collection of cerulean gowns
And then I think it was
Yves Saint Laurent- wasn't it-
who showed cerulean military jackets?
- I think we need a jacket here.
- Mmm.
And then cerulean quickly showed up
in the collections of eight different designers
And then it, uh, filtered down
through the department stores
and then trickled on down
into some tragic Casual Corner...
and then trickled on down
into some tragic Casual Corner...
where you, no doubt,
fished it out of some clearance bin
However, that blue represents
millions of dollars
and countless jobs...
and it's sort of comical how you think
that you've made a choice...
that exempts you
from the fashion industry...
when, in fact...
you're wearing a sweater that was selected
for you by the people in this room...
from a pile of stuff.
So then I said,
"No, I couldn't see the difference
between the two
absolutely identical belts".
And you should have seen
the look she gave me!
I thought the flesh
was gonna melt off her face.
- [ Chuckles ]
- It's not funny
She's not happy unless everyone around her
is panicked, nauseous or suicidal.
And the Clackers just worship her.
- The who?
- They call them Clackers
The sound that their stilettos make
in the marble lobby.
It's like,
"Clack, clack, clack. Clack, clack."
[ Groans ] And they all act like
they're curing cancer or something
[ Chuckling ]
The amount of time and energy...
that these people spend on these insignificant,
minute details, and for what?
So that tomorrow they can spend
another $300,000 reshooting something...
that was probably fine to begin with
to sell people things they don't need!
God!
- I'm not even hungry anymore.
- What?
- That is why those girls are so skinny.
- Oh No, no, no
Give me that. There's, like,
eight dollars ofJarlsberg in there.
[ Sighs ]
You know what?
I just have to stick it out for a year.
One year.
And then I can do
what I came to New York to do.
But I can't let Miranda get to me.
I won't.
Easy there, tiger.
- Oh, good morning, Miranda.
- Get me Isaac.
I don't see my breakfast here
Are my eggs here? Where are my eggs?
Excuse me!
Pick up the Polaroids
from the lingerie shoot
Have the brakes checked on my car
- [ Truck Horn Honking ]
- [ Gasps ]
Where's that piece of paper
I had in my hand yesterday morning?
The girls need new surfboards or
boogie boards or something for spring break
- Hello.
- The twins also need flip-flops.
- Ow!
- Oh, my gosh!
Pick up my shoes from Blahnik,
and then go get Patricia
- Who's that?
- Good girl! Good girl! Good girl!
Get me that little table
that I liked at that store on Madison.
Get us a reservation for dinner tonight
at that place that got the good review
- Get me Isaac
- Thirty-six thank-you notes delivered today
- Where is everyone?
- Why is no one working?
[ Miranda's Voice Overlapping ]
Get me Demarchelier.
I have Miranda Priestly calling for-
Okay.
I have Patrick.
[ Sighs ]
Thank God it's Friday, right?
At least Miranda will be in Miami,
so we don't have to be on call this weekend
You know,
my dad's coming in from Ohio.
Yeah, we're gonna go out to dinner,
maybe see Chicago.
You doing anything fun this weekend?
Yes.
[ Piano ]
[ Andy ]
Yeah, Nate said it was great
He actually- He applied here, but they
wanted someone with more experience.
- Here.
- Huh? What's this?
I don't want you
to get behind on your rent.
- Dad, how did you-
- It's-
I'm gonna kill Mom.
[ Chuckles ]
Dad, thank you.
Mm-hmm.
- It's really good to see you.
- You too, honey.
So, you want to
start grilling me now...
or should we wait till after dinner?
I thought I'd let you at least enjoy
the bread basket first.
No, no, no. It's okay.
Go right ahead.
We're just a little worried, honey.
We get e-mails from you
at your office at 2:00 a.m.
Your pay is terrible.
You don't get to write anything.
Hey, that's not fair.
I wrote those e-mails.
I'm just trying to understand why someone
who got accepted to Stanford Law...
turns it down to be a journalist,
and now you're not even doing that.
Dad, you have to trust me.
Being Miranda's assistant
opens a lot of doors.
Emily is going to Paris
with Miranda in a few months...
and she's gonna meet editors and writers
from every important magazine.
And in a year, that could be me.
- All right?
- Mm-hmm.
Dad, I swear, this is my break.
- This is my- my chance.
- [ Cell Phone Ringing ]
This is my boss.
- I'm sorry, Dad. I have to take this.
- Take it. Take it.
- Hello. Miranda?
- My flight has been canceled.
It's some absurd weather problem.
I need to get home tonight. The twins have
a recital tomorrow morning at school.
- What?
- At school!
- Absolutely. Let me see what I can do.
- Good.
Hi. Um, I know this
is totally last minute...
but I was hoping that you
could maybe get a flight for my boss...
from Miami to New York tonight?
Uh-
- [ Dad ] It's right here Thank you
- [ Andy ] Yeah, any kind ofjet
- From Miami to New York.
- Thank you.
- Yup, I need it tonight. I need it-
- Ow!
- I thought you were going out the other-
- Sweetie! No.
- It's over here, honey.
- Tonight.
Hi I'm trying to get a flight tonight-
for tonight- from Miami to New York
Yes, I know there's a hurricane.
Nothing is flying out?
What do you mean, nothing is flying out?
It's for Miranda Priestly,
and I know that she's a client of yours.
Yes. Yes, hi. I need a jet tonight
from Miami to New York.
Yeah. Sorry. Hold on.
Hello? Miranda, hi.
I'm trying to get you a flight, but no one
is flying out because of the weather.
Please. It's just-
I don't know- drizzling.
- [ Thunderclap ]
- Someone must be getting out.
Call Donatella. Get her jet.
Call everybody else
that we know that has a jet. Irv?
Call every- This is your responsibi-
This is yourjob
Get me home.
Oh, my God!
She's going to murder me.
What does she want you to do, call the National
Guard and have her airlifted out of there?
Of course not. Could I do that?
Come on.
Come on.
The girls' recital
was absolutely wonderful.
They played Rachmaninoff.
Everyone loved it.
Everyone except me...
because, sadly, I was not there.
Miranda, I'm so sorry.
Do you know why I hired you?
I always hire the same girl-
stylish, slender, of course...
worships the magazine
But so often, they turn out to be-
I don't know- disappointing and, um...
stupid.
So you, with that impressive rsum
and the big speech
about your so-called work ethic-
I, um- I thought you
would be different.
I said to myself, go ahead
Take a chance.
Hire the smart, fat girl.
[ Clears Throat ]
I had hope
My God I live on it
Anyway, you ended up
disappointing me more than, um-
more than any of the other silly girls.
Um, I really did everything
I could think of.
- Uh-
- That's all.
Excuse me!
Where do you think you're going?
She hates me, Nigel.
And that's my problem because-
Oh, wait. No, it's not my problem.
I don't know what else I can do because
if I do something right, it's unacknowledged.
She doesn't even say thank you.
But if I do something wrong,
she is vicious
- So quit.
- What?
- Quit.
- Quit?
I can get another girl to take your job
in five minutes- one who really wants it.
No, I don't want to quit.
That's not fair.
But, you know, I'm just saying
that I would just like a little credit...
for the fact
that I'm killing myself trying.
Andy, be serious.
You are not trying.
- You are whining.
- L-
What is it that you want me
to say to you, huh?
Do you want me to say, "Poor you.
Miranda's picking on you. Poor you. Poor Andy"?
Hmm? Wake up, six.
She's just doing herjob
Don't you know that you
are working at the place...
that published some
of the greatest artists of the century?
Halston, Lagerfeld, de la Renta
And what they did, what they created...
was greater than art
because you live your life in it.
Well, not you, obviously,
but some people.
You think
this is just a magazine, hmm?
This is not just a magazine.
This is a shining beacon of hope for-
oh, I don't know-
let's say a young boy growing up
in Rhode Island with six brothers...
pretending to go to soccer practice
when he was really going to sewing class...
and reading Runway under the covers
at night with a flashlight.
You have no idea how many legends
have walked these halls.
And what's worse, you don't care.
Because this place, where so many
people would die to work
you only deign to work.
And you want to know why
she doesn't kiss you on the forehead...
and give you a gold star on your homework
at the end of the day.
Wake up, sweetheart.
[ Sighs ]
- Okay. So I'm screwing it up.
- Mmm.
I don't want to
I just wish that I knew
what I could do to-
- [ Sighs ] Nigel?
- Hmm?
Nigel, Nigel.
No.
I don't know what you expect me to do.
There's nothing in this whole closet
that'll fit a size six
I can guarantee you
These are all sample sizes-
two and four.
- All right. We're doing this for you. And-
- A poncho?
You'll take what I give you
and you'll like it.
- We're doing this Dolce for you.
- Hmm!
And shoes.
- Jimmy Choo's.
- Hmm.
- Manolo Blahnik.
- Wow.
Nancy Gonzalez. Love that.
Okay, Narciso Rodriguez.
This we love.
- Uh, it might fit. It might.
- What?
Okay. Now, Chanel. You're in desperate
need of Chanel. Darling, shall we?
We have to get to the beauty department,
and God knows how long that's going to take.
[ Groans ]
I mean, I have no idea
why Miranda hired her.
Me neither. The other day,
we were in the beauty department.
She held up the Shu Uemura eyelash curler
and said, "What is this?"
[ Laughing ]
I just knew
from the moment I saw her...
she was going to be
a complete and utter disas-
- [ Phone Rings ]
- Miranda Priestly's office.
No, actually, she's not available,
but I'll leave word
Okay, thanks. Bye.
[ Clears Throat ]
How did-
[ Grunts ]
- Are you wearing the-
- The Chanel boots?
Yeah, I am.
You look good.
- Oh, God.
- What?
- She does.
- Oh, shut up, Serena.
- See you guys tomorrow.
- Good night, man. Take it easy.
Take care of that finger, huh?
So, what do you think?
Uh, I think we better get out of here...
before my girlfriend sees me.
[ Woman Singing ]
- [ Continues ]
- [ Horn Honking ]
[ Continues ]
[ Cell Phone Rings ]
- [ Continues ]
- The gowns are fabulous.
Mm-hmm.
We're gonna use the burgundy.
- Gotta find-
- [ Ends ]
So we spent a whole semester
on potatoes alone.
You take the fry and squeeze it.
- See how firm that is?
- Hey. Oh, I'm so sorry I'm late.
There was a crisis
in the accessories department.
- I needed to find a python headband.
- Python's hot right now.
I have exciting presents for all of you
Are you ready?
- What is that?
- It's a Bang & Olufsen phone.
Charlie Rose sent it to Miranda
for her birthday
I looked it up on line.
It's $1,100.
- What?
- Wow!
And I have some products.
Mason Pearson hairbrushes.
- A little Clinique.
- Ooh!
- Oh, damn it. I love your job.
- Oh! One more
- A little thing.
- [ Gasps ]
- Do you want it? You want- Oh.
- Gimme! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
- I think she likes it.
- Oh, my God! This is the new MarcJacobs!
This is sold out everywhere.
Where did you get this?
Miranda didn't want it, so-
No, no, no, no, no. This bag is, like, $1,900.
I cannot take this from you.
- [ Cackles ]
- Yeah, you can.
- Why do women need so many bags?
- Shut up.
You have one. You put all your junk in it,
and that's it. You're done.
Fashion is not about utility.
An accessory is merely
a piece of iconography...
used to express individual identity.
- Oh! And it's pretty.
- That too.
Yeah. But the thing is, it turns out there is
more to Runway than just fancy purses.
Look, here's an essay byJay Mclnerney,
a piece byJoan Didion
Even an interview
with Christiane Amanpour
- Looks like someone's been drinking the Kool-Aid.
- What do you-
- [ Cell Phone Ringing ]
- I got it. It's-Yup, the Dragon Lady.
- Oh, Miranda?
- Let me talk to her.
- I need that.
- I'll tell her to get her own scrambled eggs.
Lily, no, no, no! Put that thing up!
I was gonna answer it!
It's gonna make-
Give me the... phone.
[ Beeps ]
- [ Sputters ]
- Hi, Miranda
- Ooh. Shh.
- Absolutely.
- Shh!
- Uh-huh. I'm leaving right now.
You know, you guys
didn't have to be such assholes.
[ Rings ]
[ Electronica ]
[ Woman Singing ]
Um, excuse me.
I'm looking forJames Holt.
Um, that's him right there.
- Oh. Thanks.
- No problem.
- I put my stuff out there, and I pray they improve.
- Really?
- Excuse me.
- Hi.
I'm Andy.
I'm picking up for Miranda Priestly.
Oh, yes.
You must be the new Emily.
- [ Chuckling ]
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, let me see that bag. Very, very nice.
- Ah.
Distressed, studded leather, pieced by hand,
finished with a metallic fringe.
[ Clicks Tongue ] Very nice, indeed.
Who made that fantastic thing?
You.
Hmm. Duh. This way.
Uh, here we go.
It's a sketch of Miranda's dress
for the benefit.
Also the centerpiece of my spring collection.
Top secret stuff.
- I'll guard it with my life.
- Please do.
Come on.
You're working for Miranda Priestly now.
You must be in desperate need
of hard liquor.
Excuse us, girls.
She'll have the punch.
[ Clears Throat ]
It's deadly. Have fun.
[ Man Singing ]
- He's right, you know.
- Hmm?
The punch.
I drank it atJames's last party.
I woke up in Hoboken wearing nothing
but a poncho and a cowboy hat.
- [ Continues ]
- Ah. Well.
- Wise.
- [ Chuckling ]
- Uh, hi.
- Christian Thompson.
Christian Thompson?
You're kidding.
No, you're-You write for,
like, every magazine I love.
I actually- I reviewed your collection
of essays for my college newspaper.
Did you mention my good looks
and my killer charm?
- No, but-
- What do you do?
Oh. Well, I want to work for somewhere
like The New Yorker or Vanity Fair
- I am a writer too.
- Is that right?
- Mm-hmm.
- I should read your stuff.
Why don't you send it over?
Yeah?
That would be-Thank you.
That would be great. [ Giggling ]
But actually, right now, I'm working
as Miranda Priestly's assistant.
Oh, you're kidding.
Well, that's too bad.
That's-Whoa.
You'll never survive Miranda.
- Excuse me?
- Well, you seem nice, smart.
You can't do that job.
Gotta go.
Okay.
Well, it was very, very nice
to meet you, Miranda girl.
Emily?
Call James Holt's office Tell them I want
to move the preview up to today at 12::30
Tell everybody else.
Be ready to leave in half an hour.
But we're not expected until Tuesday
Did she say why?
Yes. Yeah, she explained every detail
of her decision making.
And then we brushed each other's hair
and gabbed about American Idol
I see your point.
- [ Andy ] What's a preview anyway?
- Good morning, Miranda.
[ Nigel ] Miranda insists upon seeing
all the designers'collections
before they show them
- Great to see you.
- Hello, James.
- [ Andy ] And she tells them what she thinks?
- [ Nigel ] In her way
Uh, this season really began for me
with a meditation...
on the intersection
between East and West
[ Nigel ] There's a scale
One nod is good Two nods is very good
There's only been one actual smile on record,
and that was Tom Ford in 2001
An obi belt.
[ Nigel ]
She doesn't like it, she shakes her head
This is the dress that we have designed
specifically and exclusively for you.
[ Nigel ] Then, of course,
there's the pursing of the lips
[ Andy ]
Which means?
[ Nigel ]
Catastrophe
[ Whispers ]
Just, uh-Just go.
- I just don't understand. I'm appalled.
- It's absurd. Appalled.
- You deal with it.
- I'll talk to him.
So because she pursed her lips,
he's gonna change his entire collection?
You still don't get it, do you?
Her opinion is the only one
that matters.
- Call my husband and confirm dinner.
- At Pastis? Done.
And I'll need a change of clothes.
Well, I've already messengered
your outfit over to the shoot.
Fine. And, Andrea, I would like you
to deliver the Book to my home tonight.
- Have Emily give you the key.
- Mm-hmm.
- Guard this with your life.
- Of course.
You know, if I can deliver the Book,
that means I must have done something right.
I'm not a psycho.
Oh, and, you know,
she called me Andrea?
I mean, she didn't call me Emily,
which is- Isn't that great?
Yeah, whoopee. Right.
Now, it's very important that you do
exactly what I'm about to tell you.
Oh. Okay.
[ Emily ]
The Book is assembled by 10::00, 10::30
and you must wait around for it
until then
You will be delivering Miranda's
dry cleaning with the Book.
Now, the car will take you straight
to Miranda's townhouse
You let yourself in
Andrea. You do not talk to anyone.
Do not look at anyone.
This is of the utmost importance.
You must be invisible.
- Do you understand?
- Uh-huh.
You open the door
and you walk across the foyer
You hang the dry cleaning
in the closet across from the staircase
- Uh-
- And you leave the Book
on the table with the flowers
[ Panting ]
- Shit!
- [ Girl ] It's that door to the left
Okay.
[ Whispers ]
Thank you.
- You can give the Book to us.
- Shh. Which-Which table?
- It's okay Come on up
- No, I can't. I can't.
- What? It's okay.
- Come on.
- Yeah, come on It's okay
- Please stop talking.
Or you can bring the Book upstairs.
Emily does it all the time.
She does? Right.
She does, all the time.
Yeah? Okay.
[ Giggling ]
[ Miranda ] What did you expect me to do,
walk out in the middle of a cover shoot?
[ Man ] I rushed out of
an investment committee meeting
and I sat there waiting for you
for almost an hour.
I told you the cell phones didn't work
Nobody could get a signal out
[ Man ] I knew what everyone
in that restaurant was thinking-
there he is, waiting for her again.
- Okay, okay! Okay, okay.
- Oh, no. Shh!
It really wasn't that big a deal.
I promise.
The twins said hello,
so I said hello back.
- Then I went up the stairs
to give her the Book and-
- You went upstairs?
Oh, my God. Why didn't you just climb into bed
with her and ask for a bedtime story?
Okay, I made a mistake. I know.
Andrea, you don't understand.
If you get fired,
that might jeopardize Paris for me.
If that happens, I will search every Blimpie's
in the tristate area until I track you down.
She's gonna fire me?
I don't know. She's not happy.
[ Miranda ]
Andrea?
[ Snaps Fingers ]
Miranda, about last night, l-
I need the new Harry Potter book
for the twins.
Okay. Okay. I'll go down
to Barnes & Noble right now.
Did you fall down and smack
your little head on the pavement?
Not that I can recall.
We have all the published Harry Potter books.
The twins want to know what happens next.
You want the unpublished manuscript?
We know everyone in publishing
It shouldn't be a problem, should it?
And you can do anything, right?
[ Cell Phone Rings ]
Yes, Bobbsey. I know, baby.
Mommy's working very hard
to get it for you.
She doesn't get it.
I could call frickin'J.K. Rowling herself.
I'm not gonna get a copy of that book.
My girls are leaving on the train
for their grandmother's at 4::00
so the book better be here
no later than 3:00.
- Of course!
- And I would like my steak here in 15 minutes.
No problem!
[ Panting ]
Okay I have four hours
to get the impossible manuscript
Smith & Wollensky's doesn't open until 11:30.
How am I gonna get the steak?
Okay I will be back in 15 minutes
- Wish me luck!
- No. Shan't.
Yes, yes, yes, yes. I've been on hold.
It's for Miranda Priestly.
It's very important.
Yes, I know it's impossible to get...
but, well, I was wondering if you
could make the impossible possible...
if that's at all possible.
[ Laughing ]
Yes, I'm calling about
the Harry Potter manuscript
Uh, no Unpublished
Not a chance?
Tell her that it's for Miranda Priestly.
'Cause I think it makes a difference.
Let me call you back.
You probably don't remember me
We met atJames Holt's party
I'm Miranda Priestly's assistant.
The Harry Potter manuscript?
Oh, you're kidding.
Uh, sorry to ask, but I'm desperate.
Just tell her it can't be done.
You'll have to come up with a Plan "B."
Well, this is Miranda Priestly
we're talking about.
There is no Plan "B."
There's only Plan "A."
Is she back? Am I fired?
I rarely say this to people
who aren't me...
but you have got to calm down.
Bloody hell!
Coat, bag.
What's that? Oh, I don't want that.
I'm having lunch with Irv.
I'll be back at 3:00.
I'd like my Starbucks waiting.
Oh, and if you don't have
that Harry Potter book by then
don't even bother coming back
[ Phone Rings ]
Hello.
Quit? Are you sure?
I failed.
She's gonna fire me anyway.
- I might as well beat her to the punch.
- Wow.
Andy, good for you.
Congratulations. You're free.
- Yeah. Well, listen, I'll call you later.
- Okay.
- [ Line Clicks, Phone Rings ]
- Hello.
I'm brilliant. No, really.
- Monuments should be erected in my honor.
- You didn't.
Oh, yes. A friend of a friend
does the cover art...
and she happens
to have the manuscript.
Oh, no, 'cause that would mean
that I actually did something right.
[ Chuckles ]
It's just- Oh!
The thing is, Christian, I was just-
Look, you want this thing, you better hurry.
I'll meet you at the St. Regis.
- Excuse me.
- [ Horn Honks ]
- Welcome to the St. Regis.
May I assist you with anything?
- Oh. Yes.
- Uh, I'm meeting someone at the King Cole Bar.
- Right this way.
Hi.
- You have one hour.
- Thank you.
One copy. What are my twins
gonna do with that? Share?
Oh, no, I made two copies...
and had them covered, reset and bound
so that they wouldn't look like manuscripts.
This is an extra copy to have on file.
You know, just in case.
Well, where are these fabulous copies?
I don't see them anywhere.
[ Whistle Blows ]
[ Andy ] They're with the twins,
on the train on the way to Grandma's
Is there anything else
I can do for you?
Mm-mmm. That's all.
Okay.
[ Door Opens ]
- Hey
- Hey. I went to Dean & Deluca.
Man, they charge, like,
five dollars a strawberry there.
But I figure since you quit your job...
we should celebrate.
- Listen, Nate.
- Wait a minute.
You quit your job, but you're still working
on the twins' science project?
Well, that's big of you.
Okay, after we talked, I realized...
it doesn't make sense throwing away
all those months of hard work
I just had a moment of weakness,
that's all.
Yeah, well, either that,
or your job sucks and your boss is a wacko.
All right. Whatever. It's your job.
Nate
Come on.
I'm still the same person I was.
I still want the same things. Okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- I promise. Same Andy, better clothes.
- [ Giggles ]
- I like the old clothes.
Really?
Well, what about these necklaces?
Do you like them?
No? And this dress, it's new.
Eh.
Well, there is one other thing
that's new...
that I thought you might like.
But, uh-What about this?
You don't like it.
I should better do-
No, no, no, no.
[ Woman Singing ]
[ Ends ]
Is this number two look?
This is number two?
- Hi.
- Hi. All right. Turn around for me, darling.
Oh, I get it. I get it. I get it.
The piece is called "urban jungle,"right?
Yes, the modern woman unleashes
the animal within to take on the big city.
[ Growls ]
Good. Go.
[ Sighs ] Sometimes I can't believe
I talk about this crap all day.
- Bobby, come here. Let me see.
- Oh, thank you.
- Make sure Miranda gets these as soon as possible.
- Mm-hmm.
And tell her I switched in the Dior
for the Rocha.
- Oh, great. Can't wait.
- Excuse me.
- Can we adjust the attitude?
- I'm sorry.
- Don't make me feed you to one of the models.
- I'm sorry.
It's a busy day.
My personal life
is hanging by a thread, that's all.
Join the club. That's what happens
when you start doing well at work, darling.
Let me know when your whole life
goes up in smoke.
That means it's time for a promotion.
No. All right, February,
back of the issue.
Did anybody speak
with Salma's people yet?
Yes, but she'd rather do a summer cover
because she has a movie coming out
No. Also, I'm pulling the Toobin piece
on the Supreme Court women-
woman.
And I need to see a new draft
on that piece
about shopping for a plastic surgeon-
It's dull.
And this layout
for the Winter Wonderland spread
Not wonderful yet.
Oh, okay. L-I'll look at it.
What about Testino?
Where are we on that?
Zac Posen's doing
some very sculptural suits.
So I suggested that, uh, Testino
shoot them at the Noguchi Garden.
Perfect.
Thank God somebody came to work today
What about accessories for April?
One thought I had was enamel.
Um, bangles, pendants, earrings.
No. We did that two years ago.
What else?
Um, well, they're showing a lot of florals
right now, so I was thinking-
Florals? For spring? Groundbreaking.
But we thought about shooting them
in an industrial space
We thought the contrast
between the femininity of the florals...
and the more raw, rough-hewn background
would create this wonderful tension between-
- No.
- Which?
- No.
- Which?
- [ Emily Coughing ]
- No.
[ Coughing Continues ]
Does anybody else
have anything I can possibly use?
Antibacterial wipes perhaps?
[ Groans ]
- How's the cold doing?
- Like death warmed up actually.
[ Sniffles ]
Oh, God.
It's the benefit tonight.
I've been looking forward to it for months.
I refuse to be sick.
I'm wearing Valentino, for crying out loud.
Right Well, everybody will
be leaving soon to get ready
so I suggest you go and drop Miranda's
Fendi bag off at the showroom...
and then I suppose you can just go home.
Yeah? Oh, well, that is great.
Perfect actually.
I need to get to Magnolia Bakery before it closes.
It's Nate's birthday tonight.
So we're, uh,
having a little party for him
Yeah, I'm hearing this,
and I wanna hear this.
Bye.
I love my job.
I love my job. I love my job.
[ Chattering ]
[ Cell Phone Rings ]
Hello?
Before the benefit tonight,
I need to make sure
that you're both fully prepped
on the guest list.
But I thought that only
the first assistant went to the benefit.
Only when the first assistant
hasn't decided to become...
an incubus of viral plague.
You'll come and help Emily
- That's all.
- Right.
These are all of the guests.
Miranda invites everyone.
We have to make sure that they all think
she knows exactly who they are.
And I've been studying for weeks.
I have to learn all these by tonight?
No, don't be silly, Andrea.
These too.
Look, you better just start without me, okay?
I'll get there as soon as I can.
Andy, come on, it's his birth-
Okay, but hurry.
Oh, please, believe me, I will.
This is the last thing that I wanna-
Ooh, I love that. Uh, I'll call you
the second I'm leaving, okay?
- Will that fit me?
- Oh, yeah
A little Crisco and some fishing line,
and we're in business.
[ Sarcastic Chuckle ]
[ Woman Singing ]
Well, nothing really. I mean, this is-
I mean, really, this is
the social event of the season.
[ Continues ]
Oh, oh, my God.
Andy, you look so chic.
Oh, thanks, Em. You look so thin.
- Do I?
- Yeah.
Oh, it's for Paris.
I'm on this new diet.
It's very effective.
Well, I don't eat anything.
And then when I feel like I'm about to faint,
I eat a cube of cheese.
- Well, it's definitely working.
- I know.
I'm just one stomach flu
away from my goal weight.
[ Man Singing ]
[ Ends ]
That's John Folger, the new
artistic director of the Chelsea Rep.
- John, thanks for coming.
- Hey there.
- [John ] Oh, thank you
It's always nice seeing you
- Stop fidgeting.
I'm sorry. I'm so late.
Just deal with it.
You have to be here.
Emily, come here.
Isn't thatJacqueline Follet
from French Runway?
Oh, my God, and Miranda hates her.
She was supposed to arrive
after Miranda left.
- I didn't- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Miranda, fabulous event as always.
- You broughtJacqueline.
- Surprise
- Quelle surprise
Oh, wonderful. We're so happy you were
able to come to our little gathering.
Of course.
I plan my whole year around this.
Well, we're so grateful that you do.
- Ciao
- Have you gotten my note?
Yes, I did.
We'll discuss it on Wednesday.
- Yes, I agree. No business tonight.
- Not tonight.
- Enjoy.
- [ Sniffles ]
Em.
Oh, thanks. Thanks.
Oh, um- Oh, my God.
I just can't remember what his name is.
I just saw his name this morning
on the list
It's- Oh, I know this.
It's something to do with-
Wait, he was- he was part of the-
Oh, God, I know this. Um-
It's Ambassador Franklin, and that's
the woman that he left his wife for, Rebecca.
- Rebecca. Ambassador.
- Miranda.
- You look fabulous
- Oh, very kind
- Thank you.
- [ Chattering Continues ]
- Look at you.
- Hello.
You're-You're a vision.
- Oh. [ Scoffs ]
- Thank God I saved your job.
[ Stammers, Chuckles ] You know,
I figured out a few things on my own too.
Turns out,
I'm not as nice as you thought.
I hope not.
Well, if it weren't
for the stupid boyfriend...
I'd have to whisk you away
right here and now.
- Do you actually say things like that to people?
- Evidently.
[ Giggles ]
Well, I gotta go.
Are you sure? 'Cause my editor
for New York Magazine is inside...
and, you know,
I could introduce you two.
- You sent over your stuff
for me to look at? Remember?
- Yeah.
All right, I gotta admit, I only read a couple.
It was a very large packet you sent.
- Yeah.
- But what I did read wasn't half bad.
And, you know, I think-
I think you have a talent, Andy.
He should meet you.
Why don't you come in?
Just for one drink.
Um, okay, yeah.
I guess I could for one-
No, I can't.
I'm sorry, but I have to go.
All right.
Give my best to the boyfriend.
Roy, I'm sorry.
Can you go any faster?
I'm sure Nate will understand.
Yeah.
[ TV, Indistinct ]
Hey
Happy birthday.
Nate, I'm so sorry.
I kept trying to leave,
but there was a lot going on.
And, you know, I didn't have a choice.
Don't worry about it.
[ Grunts ]
I'm gonna go to bed.
Can we at least talk about this?
You look really pretty.
[ Miranda ]
Andrea?
- Do you have the Book?
- Oh. Uh-
Mm.
Paris is the most important week
of my entire year.
I need the best possible team with me
That no longer includes Emily.
Wait. You want me to-
No, Miranda.
[ Exhales ]
Emily would die.
Her whole life is about Paris.
She hasn't eaten in weeks.
L-I can't... do that.
Miranda, I can't.
If you don't go, I'll assume you're
not serious about your future...
at Runway or any other publication.
The decision's yours
That's all.
[ Woman Singing ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Continues ]
- [ Continues ]
- Hey, Andy.
- Hey.
- You coming to bed anytime soon?
Uh, yeah. Five minutes, okay?
[ Ends ]
[ Fax Printing ]
[ Clears Throat ]
Andrea, don't forget to tell Emily.
Do it now.
- [ Line Ringing ]
- Don't pick up.
- Don't pick up. Don't pick up. Don't pick-
- Hi.
- Emily.
- Hi, hi. Sorry I'm late.
It's just Miranda wanted
some scarves from Hermes.
And she did tell me yesterday,
but I forgot like an idiot.
And so I freaked out, of course.
Emily, Emily, l-I need to talk to you.
I called Martine at home, and she opened
the shop early. Whoa! I'm sorry.
She opened the shop early for me,
so I got them, which is great.
Okay. Um, Emily,
wh-when you come in...
there's something
I have to talk to you about.
- Well, I hope it's not another Miranda problem.
- Not exactly.
Well, good, because I've got so much
to deal with before I go. I swear to God-
- [ Gasps ]
- [ Horn Honks, Tires Skid ]
- [ Clamoring ]
- [ Woman ] Oh, my God!
Emily?
[ Woman On PA, Indistinct ]
[ Elevator Bell Dings ]
I don't care if she was gonna fire you
or beat you with a red-hot poker!
You should have said no.
Emily, I didn't have a choice.
- Oh. Please.
- You know how she is
- That is a pathetic excuse.
- [ Door Opens ]
Thanks.
Do you know what really just...
gets me about this whole thing...
is that, you know, you're the one who said
you don't really care about this stuff
And you don't really care about fashion.
You just wanna be a journalist.
What a pile of bollocks!
Emily, I know you're mad.
I don't blame you.
Face it, you sold your soul the day
you put on that first pair ofJimmy Choo's.
I saw it And you know what really
just kills me about this whole thing
is the clothes that you're gonna get.
I mean, you don't deserve them.
You eat carbs, for Christ's sake.
God, it's so unfair!
- Emily.
- Just go.
- Emily, l-
- I said go!
[ Sighs ]
- [ Doug ] You are going to Paris
for the couture shows?
- [ Andy ] Mm-hmm
- That's the coolest fashion event of the year
- Mm-hmm.
- I mean, who are you going to see, Galliano?
- Yeah.
- And Lagerfeld and Nicholas Ghesquiere.
- Yep.
- Yes. Okay, now you're scaring me.
- [ Chuckles ]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- This show is amazing. I am so proud of you.
- [ Lily ] Thank you
Okay, start with the photos in the back
and work your way forward.
That is the way I designed it.
It is brilliant.
- You will love it
- Of course.
And you, I have somebody
I want you to meet, okay?
Ooh, art and sex. Lead the way.
- See you later.
- Okay.
[ Woman Singing ]
- [ Continues ]
- Hey. Hey, Miranda girl.
- Hi.
- I was just thinking about you.
Oh, come on.
- It's true.
- No.
I'm profiling Gaultier for Interview
and, uh, making my Paris plans.
I found myself wondering
if, uh, you were gonna be there.
Well, actually, um, I am going.
Great. I'm staying in a fantastic
little hotel in the Seventh...
right across the street from the falafel
restaurant that will change your life.
[ Chuckles ]
I'm sorry. I'll be too busy working.
You'll have to find
someone else's life to change.
Well, that's just it.
I'm beginning to wonder if I can.
Lily.
Lily, he's just a guy I know from work.
- Yeah, that looked like work.
- Look, you're making a big deal out of-
You know, the Andy I know
is madly in love with Nate...
is always five minutes early...
and thinks, I don't know,
Club Monaco is couture.
For the last 16 years, I've known
everything about that Andy.
But this person? This "glamazon"
who skulks around in corners...
with some random hot fashion guy?
I don't get her.
- Lily.
- Have fun in Paris.
You going to Paris?
Uh, yeah. It just happened.
I thought Paris
was a big deal for Emily or-
Great. Now you're gonna
give me a hard time too?
Hey, Andy. Andy!
- Andy, what the hell is wrong with you?
- L-I didn't have a choice, okay?
- Miranda asked me, and I couldn't say no.
- I know.
That's your answer for everything lately,
"I didn't have a choice."
- Like this job was forced on you.
- Nate, I get it, okay?
Like you don't make
these decisions yourself.
You're mad because I work late all the time
and I missed your birthday party.
- And I'm sorry.
- Oh, come on. What am I, four?
You-You hate Runway
and Miranda.
And you think fashion is stupid.
You've made that clear.
Andy, I make
port wine reductions all day.
I'm not exactly in the Peace Corps.
You know, I wouldn't care if you were
out there pole dancing all night...
as long as you did it
with a little integrity.
You used to say this was just a job.
You used to make fun
of the Runway girls.
What happened?
Now you've become one of them.
- That's absurd.
- That's okay. That's fine. Just own up to it.
And then we can stop pretending like
we have anything in common anymore.
- You don't mean that, do you?
- No, I do.
Well...
maybe this trip
is coming at a good time.
Maybe we should take a break.
Nate?
[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
I'm sorry. Just... one second?
You know,
in case you were wondering...
the person whose calls you always take,
that's the relationship you're in.
I hope you two
are very happy together.
[ Cell Phone Continues Ringing ]
Hello, Miranda.
[ Man Singing ]
[ Continues ]
[ Continues ]
[ Ends ]
[ Chattering ]
Pardon Miranda.
- [ Speaking Italian ]
- Maestro. Mmm.
How are you? So glad to see you.
Thank you for coming.
- You like the collection?
- Absolutely. I think it's the best in years.
- This is very important for me
Very, very important
- I'm very happy for you.
- This is my new Emily.
- Hello. How do you do?
- I'm good. Pleasure.
- Nice to meet you.
You love the show?
- Miranda. This way!
- [ Clamoring ]
Miranda Nigel
Fashion's great gatekeepers
Miranda, what is Runway's position
on French fashion versus American fashion?
- I've been thinking-
- Oh.
- You still owe me for Harry Potter.
- Oh, do I?
- Of course you do. Are you working tonight?
- Oh!
- No, actually Miranda has a dinner.
- Great, you're free.
Oh, but there is the problem
of le boyfriend.
Wait, don't tell me.
The boyfriend non plus?
Je suis tres, tres desol
Oh, you're so full of it.
You're not desol at all.
No, not even a little.
What time should I pick you up?
- Uh-
- I'll call you.
Yeah
Oh.
Oh, there you are.
[ Clears Throat ]
We need to go over the seating,
uh, chart for the luncheon.
Okay. Um, yeah, sure.
I have it right here.
By all means, move at a glacial pace.
You know how that thrills me.
Okay.
So...
first of all, we need to move
Snoop Dogg to my table.
But your table's full.
Stephen isn't coming.
Oh, Stephen is-
So I don't need to fetch Stephen
from the airport tomorrow?
Well, if you speak to him
and he decides to rethink the divorce...
then, yes, fetch away
You're very fetching, so go fetch.
And then when we get back to New York,
we need to contact, um...
Leslie to see what she can do
to minimize the press...
on all this.
Another divorce...
splashed across page six
I can just imagine what they're
gonna write about me.
The Dragon Lady, career-obsessed.
Snow Queen drives away
another Mr. Priestly.
Rupert Murdoch
should cut me a check
for all the papers I sell for him
Anyway, I don't-
I don't really care
what anybody writes about me.
But my- my girls, I just-
It's just so unfair to the girls.
It's just...
another disappointment...
another letdown,
another father... figure-
[ Chuckles ]
Gone
Anyway, the point is-
[ Clears Throat ]
The point is-
[ Sighs ]
The point is we really need to
figure out where to place Donatella...
because she's barely
speaking to anyone
I'm so sorry, Miranda
If you want me to cancel
your evening, I can.
Don't be ridiculous.
Why would we do that?
Um, is-
Is there anything else I can do?
Your job.
That's all.
[ Knocking ]
Hi. I need Miranda's itinerary
for tomorrow.
- Okay. Come on in.
- All right? Thanks.
- Who put that together for you?
- This?
Oh, it's just-
it's just something I threw on.
Turn around. Let me see. Turn.
- Mm. Incroyable
- Yeah?
- It's really just- No, it's- No, gorgeous.
- Yeah? Okay, good.
Really. I think that
my work here is done.
Oh.
We're going to celebrate.
I'm going to get some champagne.
Okay. What are we toasting?
We are toasting, my dear,
to the dream job
The one that a million girls wanted.
Which I got months ago.
I'm not talking about you.
Mm-hmm.
- James Holt-
- Yeah.
Massimo Corteleoni...
is investing in James's company
and taking it global.
- Mm-hmm.
- Bags, shoes, fragrances- the works.
And James needs a partner.
And that partner would be me.
- Does Miranda-
- No, no, Miranda knows, because-
- Oh.
- Oh, she put me up for it.
God, no. Can you imagine?
But- But- But you're leaving.
- Mm-hmm.
- I can't imagine Runway without you.
I know, I know,
but I'm so excited though.
This is the first time in 18 years I'm going
to be able to call the shots in my own life.
Oh, my God!
I'm going to be able to come to Paris
and actually see Paris.
Well, congratulations.
- Huh? Oh.
- Nigel, you deserve it.
You bet your size-six ass.
[ Guffaws ]
- Four.
- Really?
- [ Glasses Clink ]
- Cheers.
- Cheers to you.
- To us.
- Let me see that.
- [ Giggles ]
[ Woman Singing In French ]
Okay, I just wanna say that yes, there are things
Miranda does that I don't agree with, but-
- Come on. You hate her. Just admit it to me.
- No.
She's a- She's a notorious sadist...
and not- not in a good way.
Okay, she's tough,
but if Miranda were a man...
no one would notice anything about her,
except how great she is at her job.
[ Chuckles ]
I'm sorry. I can't-
- I can't believe this. You're defending her?
- Yeah.
The wide-eyed girl peddling
her earnest newspaper stories?
You, my friend,
are crossing over to the dark side.
I resent that.
- You shouldn't. It's sexy.
- Sexy?
- Really?
- Really.
So do you-
do you know where we're going?
- 'Cause I'm lost.
- Yeah.
Yeah, don't worry. I know this city
like the back of my hand.
It's my favorite place
in the whole world.
You know, Gertrude Stein once said...
"America is my country,
and Paris is my hometown."
- [ Laughs ]
- It's true.
What do you do?
Do you just write stuff like that down...
and then file it away to use on us girls?
- I'm Christian Thompson. That's my way.
- That's your way. Right.
I work freelance.
I have a lot of free time on my hands.
You know, I never understood...
why everyone was so crazy about Paris...
but... it is so beautiful.
[ Giggles ]
Mm. L-I can't. I'm sorry.
I can't. You know, Nate and I just split up
a couple days ago, and I can't.
Ooh. I've had too much wine.
And my hearing-vision-
judgment's impaired.
No, I barely know you.
I'm in a strange city.
I... am out of excuses.
Thank God.
[ Groans ]
[ Gasps ]
Yes.
Oh, shoot.
[ Door Opens ]
Bonjour, madame
Uh, what the hell is this?
What does it look like?
It's a mock-up.
Yeah. Of?
Of what American Runway will look like
when Jacqueline Follet is the new editor in chief.
Wh-They're replacing Miranda?
Yeah. And she's bringing me in
to run all the editorial content.
You're really surprised?
Jacqueline's a lot younger than Miranda.
She has a fresher take on things.
Not to mention American Runway's one
of the most expensive books in the business
Jacqueline does the same thing
for a lot less money
And Irv-
Irv's a businessman, you know.
Miranda will be devastated. Her whole life
is about Runway He can't do that to her.
It's done. Irv's gonna tell Miranda
after the party forJames.
And she has no idea?
She's a big girl. She'll be fine.
Shi- I have to go.
Andy.
Andy, it's done.
Baby, it's done.
I'm not your baby.
- [ Phone Ringing ]
- Allo
Oh! Oh! Thank God you're there.
- [ Sighs ] Excuse me?
- I need to talk to you right away.
It's aboutJacqueline Follet.
Shit! Oh, shit! Shit, shit, shit!
- Yes.
- Mr. Ravitz, I'm so sorry to bother you.
I was wondering-
Have you completely lost your mind?
- I need to talk to you.
- Do not disturb me again.
But, um, it's just for one- Miranda!
[ Horn Honks ]
Miranda. Miranda.
Wait, I need to talk to you.
Irv is making Jacqueline Follet
the editor in chief of Runway
Christian Thompson told me
he's gonna work for her.
Irv is going to tell you today. I thought
maybe if I told you, that you could fix it.
Do I smell freesias?
What? No.
L-I specifically told them-
If I see freesias anywhere...
I will be very disappointed.
For 72 years, Runway
has been more than a magazine
It has been a beacon
of elegance and grace.
Miranda Priestly is the finest
possible guardian of that beacon
setting a standard that inspires
people across the globe
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you Miranda Priestly.
Thank you, my dear friend.
Bonjour
[ Chuckles ]
Thank you very much
for coming today
to help celebrate
our dear friend, James Holt.
But before I talk to you aboutJames...
and his many accomplishments...
I would like first to share
some news with you.
Um, as many of you know
uh, recently Massimo Corteleoni...
has agreed to finance the expansion
of theJames Holt label
transforming the work
of this visionary artist...
into a global brand,
which is really an exciting enterprise.
Runway and James Holt share
many things in common
chief among them,
a commitment to excellence.
And so, it should come as no surprise
that when the time came...
forJames to choose the new president
ofJames Holt International...
he chose from within
the Runway family
And it's my great happiness today
to announce to you all
that that person...
is my friend
and longtime esteemed colleague
Jacqueline Follet.
Thank you. Merci
And now to the main event
our celebration ofJames Holt
We at Runway
are very proud to have been-
When the time is right,
she'll pay me back.
You sure about that?
No.
But I hope for the best.
I have to.
[ Clamoring ]
You thought I didn't know.
I've known what was happening
for quite some time.
Itjust took me a little while to find
a suitable alternative forJacqueline
And thatJames Holtjob
was so absurdly overpaid
that, of course, she jumped at it.
So I just had to tell Irv
thatJacqueline was unavailable
The truth is, there is no one
that can do what I do...
including her.
Any of the other choices would
have found that job impossible...
and the magazine would have suffered.
[ Sighs ]
Especially because of the list.
The list of designers, photographers...
editors, writers, models, all of whom
were found by me, nurtured by me
and have promised me
they will follow me...
whenever and if ever
I choose to leave Runway
[ Chuckles ]
So he reconsidered
But I was very, very impressed
by how intently you tried to warn me.
I never thought I would say this,
Andrea...
but I really-
I see a great deal of myself in you.
You can see beyond what people want
and what they need...
and you can choose for yourself.
I don't think I'm like that.
L-
I couldn't do what you did to Nigel,
Miranda.
I couldn't do something like that.
Mm. You already did.
To Emily.
That's not what l-
No, that was- that was different.
I didn't have a choice.
Oh, no, you chose
You chose to get ahead
You want this life,
those choices are necessary.
But what if this isn't what I want?
I mean, what if I don't wanna
live the way you live?
Don't be ridiculous, Andrea.
Everybody wants this.
Everybody wants to be us
[ Clamoring ]
[ Woman Vocalizing ]
[ Vocalizing Continues ]
[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
[ Vocalizing Continues ]
I have to be at work in 20 minutes.
What's up?
Well, I just-
I wanted to say
that you were right about everything.
That...
I turned my back on my friends
and my family...
and everything I believed in...
and- and for what?
For shoes and shirts
and jackets and belts.
Nate.
I'm sorry.
L-
[ Clears Throat ]
I flew up to Boston while you were gone.
I interviewed at the Oak Room.
And?
And you're looking
at their new sous-chef.
- I'm moving up there in a couple weeks.
- That's great. Congratulations.
I don't know what I'm gonna do without
those late-night grilled cheeses, but-
I'm pretty sure
they have bread in Boston.
May even haveJarlsberg
We might be able
to figure something out.
You think?
Yeah.
So, what about you?
I mean, what are you gonna do now?
Actually, I, uh-
I have a job interview today.
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
That's what you're wearing?
Shut up. I like this.
- Andy, Greg Hill.
- Hello.
Come on. These clips are excellent.
This thing on the janitors' union,
that's exactly what we do here.
My only question is, Runway?
My only question is, Runway?
You were there for less than a year.
What the hell kind of a blip is that?
Learned a lot.
In the end though,
I kind of screwed it up.
I called over there for a reference,
left word with some snooty girl.
Next thing you know, I got a fax
from Miranda Priestly herself.
Saying that of all the assistants
she's ever had...
you were, by far,
her biggest disappointment.
And, if I don't hire you,
I am an idiot
You must have done something right.
- [ Beeping ]
- [ Phone Ringing ]
Miranda Priestly's office.
Hey, Emily, it's Andy. Don't hang up.
I have a favor to ask you.
You have a favor to ask of me?
Yeah. The thing is,
I have all these clothes from Paris...
and I don't have anyplace
to wear them...
so I was wondering if you
could take them off my hands.
Well, I don't know.
It's a huge imposition.
And I'll have to get them taken in.
I mean, they'll drown me.
But I suppose I could help you out.
I will have Roy pick them up this afternoon.
Thanks, Em. I appreciate it.
Good luck.
You have some very large shoes to fill.
I hope you know that.
I don't understand
why it is so challenging...
to get my car when I ask for it.
[ Chuckles ]
Go.